Wearing a Mask

Last Halloween, I was handing out candy when I recognized one of our students among the goblins and ghouls parading through my neighborhood. She was trick-or-treating with her cousin, and they had unwittingly landed on my doorstep. When I opened the door, I was surprised to hear, “Dr. Reaves?” as we both recognized each other. She was as shocked to see me as I was to see her. I was only a month into my role as President of WSG, and I was still getting to know our students and they were just getting used to me. And yet, there I was, in my home, not a school administrator but a regular mom and giver of treats. I felt, in a way, unmasked.

That moment of seeing each other in a different light came to mind when I joined our eighth-grade class on their annual class retreat last week. The overnight trip is time away from school when students come together in prayer, reflection, and team-building activities. The class retreat is a popular school tradition that our eighth-grade students look forward to every year. It is also a defining moment for class unity, as students strengthen their bonds and develop a new appreciation of each other.

On the day that I joined the retreat, students participated in one activity in particular that struck a chord with me. Each girl was given a paper mask and asked to write inside the mask how they see themselves - what they know is on the inside. As I observed the activity, I noticed that many girls chose negative statements about themselves and their self-image. On the outside of the masks, the girls were asked to write the aspects of themselves that they share with others. They then wore the masks on the backs of their heads as they went around the room to write positive affirmations on each other’s masks.

And this is when you could almost see the negativity wiped away as the girls took the time to lift each other up by sharing encouraging and heartfelt words. By the end of the activity, every girl had a mask full of positive statements about themselves and a big smile on her face. Several girls wanted to know if they could hang their masks in their lockers as a reminder of how their peers see them: beautiful, kind, courageous, and fierce. At that moment of affirmation, it was as if they, too, had been revealed for who they really are. They too, had been unmasked.

Imagine if every girl each day went to school knowing that she would be reinforced positively for who she is, that her peers would uplift her and the community would recognize and celebrate what makes her special. It is important as educators that we recognize the masks our students wear are just that - sometimes hiding negative self-talk and doubt in themselves and their abilities. Their performance at school and in classrooms may be based on what they see on the inside of the mask and what they believe about themselves. Finding a way to pull the mask away, to see her for who she is and help her see and recognize her own gifts and talents, has the potential to positively change her life forever.

In and Out of the Classroom

When we talk about the growth of our students, we often refer to simultaneous development both “in and out of the classroom.” We want our students to lead healthy, productive lives both professionally and personally. But who they are in the classroom is different than who they are at home and who they are when they’re out with their friends.

I’ve been thinking a lot about who I am in my professional and personal lives and what example I try to set for students. Currently, Work Beth is a more relaxed version of the professionalism that defined my early experience working in a corporate setting. I started working at a time when women dressed very conservatively – dark suits preferably with a skirt and low heels. My professional persona mirrored this uniform – serious, practical and all business. Nowadays as the President of WSG, Work Beth still wears suits and skirts but also mixes in dresses, sweaters, fun heels and a diverse color palette, less authoritarian and more reflective of an open and collaborative leadership style. My clothes now are perhaps more fashion-forward than the sober suits of yore, but I still aim to project an image of a woman who is pulled together and ready to do the work.

Conversely, Home Beth is all about comfort. Jeans, tennis shoes, t-shirts and, like many modern weekend warriors, work-out clothes sans the workout. While I don’t think much about what I’m wearing outside of the office, I focus on feeling calm, composed and able to take on chores, pets, kids, hobbies and even the occasional social gathering. Like Work Beth, Home Beth feels most in her element when she is prepared to tackle the many tasks of the day, from the very mundane (laundry) to the most precious (art-making with my teenage daughter). Both Work Beth and Home Beth are confident and secure knowing that I can focus on my responsibilities and that others will see my best self.

Of course, clothes do not make the woman and are certainly an imperfect metaphor for the challenges of balancing personal and professional lives. For me, at least, knowing what makes me feel confident and empowered both in and out of the office is an important lesson of adulthood. I want our girls to find that balance as well. To understand that personal care and attention are powerful tools, but so is being comfortable in your own skin so that you can accomplish your goals and demonstrate that you are ready and able to do what needs to be done.

Crowns, Ships and Haiku

Last week I shared my reflections on the International Day of the Girl. This week, I’d like to revisit that day so I can share with you how our students and staff celebrated girls and girlhood.

The day’s activities were largely a surprise for students, who were allowed to dress out of uniform by wearing pink on Thursday. On the Wednesday prior, students made and decorated paper crowns to represent their inner queens, and while some opted for simple looks, several students really got creative with their designs!

Following morning classes, students enjoyed a special spaghetti lunch while watching an episode of Daughters of Destiny, a Netflix documentary series on a girls’ school in India. (I’ve seen the entire series, and I highly recommend watching all four episodes). I was really impressed by students’ responses to the series and their thoughtful questions about what it means to be an educated girl in the world.

In the afternoon, students split up into groups to participate in three different activities: Group Shout-Outs, Voyage of the Girlship and Forces of Nature Haiku.

Wearing her crown, each student had an opportunity to receive praise and positive reinforcement from her classmates, who called out her strengths and assets. Admittedly, this activity was a little chaotic, but the energy and enthusiasm of the students had an amazing effect. You could see each girl beaming with pride amidst the cacophony of praise and applause from her peers.

Working in small groups, students collaborated on a design for a Girlship – a seafaring vessel that would represent and spread their culture as girl ambassadors to the world. Students created artistic representations of their ship using construction paper and markers and identified their individual roles as members of the ship’s crew.

Each student also had the opportunity to reflect on her unique gifts by imagining herself as a force of nature and writing and illustrating a haiku about it. I particularly liked this activity because writing haiku is such a fun, quick activity that really lets you play with words and imagery. In fact, in the spirit of the day, I wrote my own force of nature haiku:

Warm rays nurture growth

Rise, smile, bringing light and life

Reflect back on one’s soul

And finally, as with all good celebrations, the Day of the Girl ended with a dance party! I couldn’t think of a better way to wrap an amazing afternoon of girl empowerment.